


Very Devout Christian

by Calicornia



Category: Naruto, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-01-04 23:06:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18353579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calicornia/pseuds/Calicornia
Summary: Bakugo goes on a journey.





	1. Chapter 1

The year is 2050, jaywalking has finally been made legal again. Chaos insues, Guy sensei sues. Mary sues. Jaywalking is a crime.

* * *

 Anasui is jaywalking in Texas.

* * *

It was the past now, and Bakugo had had enough. There was too many callout posts on him on Twitter for him to live in this society. He packed his bags and jaywalked to the mountains. Which mountains? 

The Dick Cheese Mountains.

Lee stood at the gate, it wasn't his. It was the property of the 4,096th Vegan God of Neutrality: Markiplier Fishbach Muccellati. He was protecting the gate from homophobes like Bakugo, but there was other plans.

"SHIIIIINEEEEEE! ROCK LEEEE!" Bakugo propelled himself into the air using his quirk, but Lee had other plans.

The panties.

Bakugo fell from his ascension, the bugaboos scattered helplessly as he split into three. Homophobia Ascension Bakugo, Homosexual Ascension Bakugo, and Bakugo Ascension Homo.

"SHIIIIIINEEEEEE!" They chorused in unison at each other, their fists slapping the other's furiously as they all fought for dominance.

"Tis the circle of life, papa." Gundam patted Rock Lee's back, "I will be back with the milk in a fortnight. The Fortnitehop will know the name Gundam Femdom Tanaka."

The bugaboos all charged at the wall.

Time to pound the whole bottle of wine.

Komaeda drank from Lois Family Guy Griffin's saggy teet. Gotta get that grade A nutrition.

"Not as tasty as Hajime's, but it's okay." Komaeda said using his second mouth. Where is it located? You decide.

"Hey Lois, remember the time the fingers in his ass guy sucked your tits at the mashed potato orgy?"

"Yeah Petah!"

We need the secrecy of Jolyne. The gas prices ascended. It was time for another bottle of wine.

Taxes are too high.

Bakugo held Lee's hand at their wedding ceremony. It truly was a fairly odd parents. Cosmo was the best man, he was also the maid of honor. He was also the father of the bride. Who's bride? Find out next week.

"He's not Lee's dad!" Crocker burst in holding his fairy god spatula. "Time for some crock and ball torture!"

The divorce papers were officiated immediately following the ceremony. The shortest marriage ever: 5 french seconds. How much is that in standard time? You decide.

Roy Mustang arrested Bakugo for aggrivated Bakugo. Wrong move, Katsuki. You're pregnant now.

"I cannot believe that I am going to be a father." Rock Lee teared up. We truly lost a star that day. 

Gundam never came back with the milk, instead went back to the past.

It was even paster now.

 

 


	2. The Rick and Morty Lunch Box Conspiracy

Bakugo was having a normal day at school, that was until Souda showed up. In his hands, the shittiest lunch box he'd ever seen. 

A Rick and Morty lunch box. No, THE Rick and Morty lunch box. Bakugo had a gag reflex, it wasn't his. The Bakugo fursuiter was on the prowl.

Officer Mistabus was on the prowl.

Everyone called Souda mean names for having a Rock and Morty lunch box, but they all had low IQs, so it didn't matter. Only Miss Sonia would understand.

* * *

 

It was the present now. Souda ran a Rick and Morty confessions blog.

"I want Rick to fist my asshole while gripping a jar of pickles."

A knock came from his door, it wasn't his. Where the fuck is Mickey? Right here, motherfucker.

Kazuichi Souda was never seen again, but the mouse ears were.

Bakugo and Lee married in dysentery.


End file.
